Week 1: in lonesome darkness

Over the next couple months, I will be sharing poems and reflections from "in lonesome darkness," a poetry book I wrote during the pandemic about loneliness and the gifts of forced isolation. I've included some descriptions and reflections for those who want to take a deeper dive into each poem. I will be posting a poem every week between January-April, as the winter months can be isolating and dark. Maybe they can also be a time of personal growth and transformation. I hope you'll enjoy this poetic journey inward. Welcome to Week 1!

About this project:

in lonesome darkness is a poetry chapbook about the gifts of forced isolation. Sometimes we find ourselves in places where we feel stuck, abandoned, exiled, even from ourselves. The darkness can feel scary like a prison, but it can also be a place and a space for revelation and change. 

I used to be afraid to be alone. Afraid to stop for too long for fear of what might emerge from the deep abyss within. Memories. Failures. Sadness. Maybe I’d be visited by an uninvited exile, an inconsolable and lonely inner child that would overwhelm the stable control center I had so carefully constructed over many years. 

When we befriend the lonesome darkness, we find more than we expected, we find a companion for the journey, we find our self. In the haunting hold of darkness, we learn to walk in the dark, to discern new shapes and possibilities, to hear distant voices: voices of truth, pain, and longing. As we water these seedlings of hope, and give the necessary time and space for internal expansion, the darkness imparts its gifts and this creative energy, and compassionate love, regenerates the wounded parts as we hold them with care and tenderness. It is in this crucible we discover that some of the deepest transformation happens…

in lonesome darkness. 

in lonesome darkness

I searched for you in daylight

In the glisten of the dew

but you weren't there in all the glamour

you were hidden far from view

I didn't find you in the clamor

of a popular milieu

you were there in lonesome darkness

in the shadows, ever new

Description: This poem is a quiet meditation on absence and unexpected presence. It contrasts the brightness and noise of public, celebrated spaces with the intimacy of solitude, suggesting that what we really seek cannot be found in spectacle or approval. Instead, meaning—or love—reveals itself in loneliness and shadow, where attention deepens and discovery feels more personal and true.

Reflections: What have you been spending a lot of time searching for (truth, hope, identity, community, spiritual renewal, courage, etc)? Can you relate with looking in the wrong places for the things you really want? How do you feel (excited, afraid, curious) about going into the lonesome darkness and shadows to discover the newness of things you've longed for?